Monday, Monday. Here we are again... Even though Mondays at home still weird me out a bit, returning to domestic life is not without it's forgotten pleasures.

Across my back fence lives a middle aged guy with a wild yellow afro. I don't know much about him, except his name is Kevin, and he's compulsive about his cat, his territory and his outdoor projects. I could live with all that, heck I understand 'compulsive' quite well ~ if he'd just keep it on his own side of the fence...

While Mike was away in Thailand this summer, Kevin called me unexpectedly one afternoon. I was a little surprised, not knowing he had my phone number, let alone knew my name. 'Lori,' he began, 'I'd like to talk to you about your downstairs light'. 'My light?' I responded, 'what?' "Your light,' he continued, 'is overly bright, and is a disruption to me in the evening. Can you get a shade for it, or leave it off?"

Now I've had many neighbors over the years and for the most part, not had much trouble with complaints. I mean, I didn't complain when my front window was stoned twice, the east indian family next door parked their vehicles all over my front lawn, the kid down the street rolled my van backwards into the neighbors fence or when the neighbor kids pee'ed like alley cats in my sandbox ~ because on a cul de sac, you live a life of give and take. My own kids ricochetted a water balloon straight into the neighbors kitchen, seized an entire crop of tomatoes and spray painted a naked 4 year old girl completely blue... It's all par.

But seriously dude, lightbulbs? You gotta be shittin me... And because domestic life is a little boring, especially without the parking ticket woman to spar with anymore, I calmly said I'd see what I could do, and proceeded to leave my lights on at every opportunity...

***

So foward a few weeks, and Mike, ultimate peace maker, is cutting the lawn when Kevin approaches him with his recent concern about the wattage of our lightbulbs, now not only the downstairs light, but the kitchen and the deck as well.. It seems Kevin is also upset about how our dog, frightens his cat when his cat sits on our back fence, or crosses over in to our back yard.

(omg! get a life!) But it was what happened next that floored me. In walks Mike, locks the dog inside from OUR yard, so as not to bother Kevin's cat in OUR yard ~ AND UNSCREWS THE LIGHTBULBS!!!

Now I don't think I'm an unreasonable person for the most part. But I dropped a friggin hiroshima over the unscrewing of the lightbulbs. I mean honestly ~ I get the whole 'love your neighbor' thing ~ but when your neighbor is an asshole, well, your neighbor is an asshole...

***

I have lots of time to check out the specials in the local papers these days. And I wouldn't be surprised if someone has a sale on clear, unfrosted 150 watt light bulbs. And now I have a lot of empty sockets to fill.

Hahahaaa, let there be light...