Saturday, October 30, 2010

These are the sexiest, spookiest candy apples I've ever seen. The Bugatti Veyron of candy apples. If I was going to a halloween party, I might even take them. Oh wait, I am going to a halloween party. But I'll probably just take Col. Sanders to that. Chicken, not as a date...

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Like seriously...

From: EnlargeYourSnake (
Sent: October 26, 2010 2:56:56 AM

Impress Your Partner with Your Huge Package!


I'm not a man, and I don't own a snake. If I owned a snake I'd feed it cats to enlarge it...

Friday, October 22, 2010

Stolen Inspiration...

The Great Pumpkin

So I have a bit of a great pumpkin obsession at the moment. It's a new affective disorder I'm creating - seasonal pumpkinitis ocd. So you'll have to bear with me while I wax eloquent temporarily about orange squash.

If I had any inclination at all to bake, I might try these brownie pumpkins on a stick, cuz they're just so pretty & seasonal. But I don't. I might however, melt up some white chocolate and dip apples tonite, with some growers apple cider for inspiration and to round out the evening.

Also found this great outdoor display that I'm going to try and put together this weekend while all the boys in my fam are away. You hollow the pumpkin in the regular way, but the part that excites me is using the power drill to make the holes. I'm imagining the 'pop'. Something about that... The whole thing is lit up with christmas lights for a safe display.

When I was a kid, my dad had this treasured little 'see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil' monkey statue. This quirky display brought back the memory.

And for the religious among us, who want to celebrate with seasonal 'statement' flair, the Jesus pumpkin. (not on my front deck this year!)

Happy Harvest!

Sunday, October 17, 2010



Friday, October 15, 2010

I Have a Dream...

This is in Paris, and I'm going to do it under my back deck - but it's a start... .

Finding Inner Peace

I'm passing this on to you cuz it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use a little more calm in our lives.

I read this morning that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclets.

Yu haf no idr how bludy guod I feel rite now.
Plaese pash dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr paece.

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Gypsy Punk for a Saturday Afternoon

Written in honor of the crazy old lady who lived next door, who wore only, guess what - purple. This is my next life goal...

Friday, October 8, 2010

Reaaaally changing your mind about your ingrained beliefs & attitudes is not like changing a light bulb or a bed. It's more like finding & replacing a mini bulb on a flickering string of cheap christmas lights.

Sometimes the effort hardly seems worth it. But then all of a sudden, half the string lights up for a second. And on you go in giddy hope of fixing the damn thing again...

Monday, October 4, 2010

What to do when you forgot your best friend's birthday and they got a mystery gift you didn't send...

Subject: Re: RE:
Date: Sat, 2 Oct 2010 22:50:16 -0700

hey, did you send me the fruit basket?


From: Lori Abercrombie
To: Laura Toftager
Sent: Sunday, October 03, 2010 8:04 AM
Subject: RE:

Yes! Did you like it?! I wondered when you were going acknowledge it, you ungrateful woman!



Subject: Re: RE:
Date: Mon, 4 Oct 2010 15:48:06 -0700

shut up you did not !!!!!!!!


From: Lori Abercrombie
To: Laura Toftager
Sent: Monday, October 04, 2010 4:22 PM
Subject: RE:




From: Laura Toftager (
Sent: October 4, 2010 5:19:27 PM

Loser !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

So I went in to Vancouver yesterday (2.5 hour trip on the totally deconstructed Hwy 1) to the 2010 Christmas Gala Floral Trade Show. I'm flirting with the idea of Floral Design and this is the event for trends in the industry.

At the break, a fully catered gala event in itself, I sat with an impeccably and expensively dressed woman. I was already feeling a little conspicuous in flip flops & jeans, since nearly everyone was decked out like a christmas tree. Apparently it's inappropriate in Vancouver to wear black rubber thongs in October, but entirely appropriate to wear black silk thongs, especially if they're exposed...

The woman told me a story of her friend, a career florist who'd unexpectedly had her eyesight damaged after being hit in the face with bear spray.

'Bear spray?!' I responded, enthused at the offbeat subject. 'My gosh, if she was close enough to be sprayed on by a bear, she's lucky all she had damaged was her eyesight - she could have lost her life!'

The woman's delicate eyebrow shot up in horror. A deep silence followed and she turned to engage with the woman to her left.

Apparently bear spray is mace. Not bear piss.
Nothing like showing your valley colours at an urban event.