Finding Inner Peace

I'm passing this on to you cuz it definitely worked for me today, and we all could probably use a little more calm in our lives.

I read this morning that the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started.

So I looked around my house to see things I'd started and hadn't finished and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, a pockage of Prunglies, tha mainder of bot Prozic and Valum scriptins, the res of the Chesescke an a box a choclets.

Yu haf no idr how bludy guod I feel rite now.
Plaese pash dhis orn to dem yu fee ar in ned ov iennr paece.