Gotta say, I've been railing all week against this whole 50 thing... I know it's just another day older than yesterday - but I just can't wrap my head around the freaking number! I even did the very timely 'what's your old lady name' on facebook, just to deepen my misery. I'm 'Opal'. (that's her in the pic) She looks pretty much how I feel...

My mother-in-law patted my hand consolingly on Saturday, confiding that 50 had been 'really good' for her, well at least til the part when her husband suffered a terrible stroke. Said menopause made her 'much more stable' with the decrease in hormones. I just know menopause is NEVER going to happen to me, I'll be non menopausal anomoly, the cadaver they explore to find out why it never stopped. Depends, sanitary napkins & life long instability, to boot...I can see it now.

My youngest son, who approaches each birthday with a level of jubilation equal to that of an overexcited dog, told me, 'Mom - 'old' is a personality thing, not an age thing.' I hope he's right...

I watched several episodes of Grey's Anatomy with my oldest daughter this weekend. Now there's a show to send even the most stable person in to weepy, fear ridden, omg time's running out! depression. Grey's Anatomy is like the melancholy suicidal sister to Scrubs. Same kind of compelling characters, same kind of great background music, same great little theme to tie it all altogether - but omg, everyone dies.

Anyways, there was a great line delivered very melodramatically by a beautiful young dying brain cancer patient intern after her impromptu wedding to her fiance in spite of her terminal illness (as she removed her wedding tiara and long clumps of chemo-ized hair came out with it.)

'Life just isn't long enough to squeeze in all the living we want to do...'

(ack! choke! sob!)

And that's what essentially freaks me out about being 50. How am I going to squeeze in all the living I still want to do???

(whyohwhy, do i watch hospital shows?!)